i have been mentoring a young lady, who i’ll call “j”, for more than a year who is very special to me and today i had to take part in her safety.
“j” comes from a home where she would be considered the “scapegoat child”. this is a child who is mistreated in any number of ways while other siblings in the home do not face the same kind of treatment. those other children are well taken care of and are treated with love, kindness and respect. “j”, on the other hand is verbally abused, threatened with physical harm by a sibling and a parent. she is treated as if she is to blame for all things bad in life. because she’s made some poor choices in the past, her parents look at her as if she were a pariah; a black mark on society; a black sheep. “j” is doing all that she can to prove that those foolish things are a thing of the past. goes to school every day. follows her curfew. keeps to herself.
“j” recently learned she is pregnant. one more thing for her parents to mistreat her for. they’ve told her (and authority figures) that they’re not raising her baby. they’re not going to allow her to keep the baby in their home. they have told her that she has to be out of their home as soon as she turns 18 (that happens later this year). what’s a girl in her predicament to do?
i had committed to taking her to her first ultrasound appointment today and last night while we were confirming times and such via kik, “j” made a statement that she wanted to go to the local youth shelter or some other place because she no longer felt safe in her home. she didn’t go into details. i told her we could discuss this today when i picked her up.
after getting her and making sure she was feeling ok, i asked what was going on at home. that was when she (bravely) admitted that her brother had threatened to slice her throat and kill her. “j” also went on to state that her mother was daily threatening her with harm if she went anywhere near her. i told her i thought we should go see her probation officer and tell her what’s going on and see if she could be of any help. after “j’s” appointment, i called her jpo (we’ll call her “ms. jpo) to see if she was available for a visit. after confirming ms. jpo was indeed available, we were on our way.
i didn’t allow “j” to linger once in ms. jpo’s office, and prompted her to tell ms. jpo why we were there to see her. again, “j” used her voice (as i’d been teaching her to do) and repeated the allegations. ms. jpo typed out a statement, asking questions along the way. she was very concerned for “j’s” well being (as she always is). she did make “j” aware that she needed to contact the proper authorities because of the allegations. after multiple calls to various individuals but getting nowhere fast, a call was placed to the local youth shelter, where information was given and it was determined that “j” would have a bed and a safe place to go.
after stopping to pick up some grub at a fast food drive-thru, we were on our way. we made our way inside, where i greeted staff members i knew. i then introduced “j” to a couple of them and after making sure that she was going to be ok and assuring her that i would be by to pick her up tomorrow afternoon, i left “j” so that the staff could begin the intake process. i left knowing that she is safe – at least for the duration of her stay at the shelter. what will happen next – only God knows. i am praying for her to remember that she is loved and that there are a few of us out there who want nothing but the best for her and for her to be safe.
what causes a parent to treat a child the way “j” is treated (or even worse)? i don’t know if anyone will ever find the answer to that question.
musings of a little fay 