rejection

i’ve been feeling pretty low lately and it pretty much involves feeling as if all of my efforts to find a few close friends have been fruitless. i’m almost to the point that i want to stop trying. making the attempts only to have them brushed off are more than i can bear at times. it’s lonely. i want more than anything to have those few ladies in my life where we mutually can rely on one another when things aren’t going so good. the ones that can be called upon to grab a cup of coffee and rejoice in some time of fellowship. the ones that can be called upon for prayer or praise or a venting session. i don’t expect it to happen daily. we all have lives. families; jobs; hobbies; etc….but once in a while is nice.

today, while i was i was volunteering at the local Christian radio station i listen to (i go to their studio office and do data entry), i was sharing my feelings about this and other things that are too hard to write about with someone i’ve come to know and trust and as i sat there with her crying from the pain that dwells so deep inside, she said to me that a word came to mind and wanted to pray. so holding hands, this special person prayed for me. she prayed for peace and comfort as i struggle with so many raw emotions. she prayed for God to show me His love and mercy and if it is in His will, to grant the desires of my heart for that companionship i long for. it was during that prayer that she mentioned the word that God put into her mind – “rejection”.

 

i kept thinking about that word – “rejection” – and to be honest – that was probably the perfect word to describe how i’ve been feeling. but the thoughts quickly began to move past me – i’m not one of those that is “it’s all about me” (although lately it seems like it). while i was typing away on the day’s project, one of the radio personalities came in for her upcoming on air shift. we greeted each other warmly (we’ve known each other for about 3 years now) and i asked how her sister was doing. her sister has cancer and i wanted to know how she was responding to the treatments she’s been receiving. i was saddened to hear that she’s not responding to the treatment and her medical team are going to switch her to something stronger that is experimental. again – the word “rejection” came to mind. there are times that a person can be undergoing treatment for whatever form of cancer they have and their body rejects those treatments. the drugs don’t do their job. rejected.

from there, i thought about how a person in need of some sort of organ transplant has to take drugs to keep the body from rejecting the new organ they’ve received. oftentimes, the drugs do what they’re supposed to do. but sometimes – that new organ is rejected. even with the proper course of treatment, rejection occurs. rejection.

how many people are rejected by the people that they thought loved them? kids are rejected by their peers because they’re a little different. parents reject a child because they have behavioral and/or mental health issues and they refuse to deal with those issues. children reject their parents because they don’t want to follow house rules and don’t like being told what to do or not to do. a man rejects his wife. a wife rejects her husband. a person has a job application rejected. rejection – it happens in all walks of life.

throughout these thoughts of rejection – the one thing that kept coming to mind was the rejection Christ faced. His own people rejected Him. they mocked Him. they whipped Him. they yelled “crucify Him!!”. they sent Him to die a slow and excruciatingly painful death. Jesus suffered the ultimate rejection. and more than 2000 years later, people still reject Him. they won’t accept that He came to save us from an eternity in a fiery pit. i’ve had people tell me that they know who Christ is but that they don’t “believe in Him like that” (meaning like i do as a Christian – a Christ follower). it makes me sad when i hear people reject Him.

so who am i to complain if people in this life reject me? i have a God who will never forsake me nor reject me. Jesus loves me – unconditionally. and He will always be by my side – even when i’m not 100% sure of that fact. Jesus – He died for me. how can i reject my Lord after He did something so incredible?

maybe i’m not rejected after all……